What if nothing in life was a coincidence? What if everything in life was divinely orchestrated to happen exactly as it should?
It took me years to realize that nothing in life is an accident - from the friends you have to the place you live to the school you go to - everything happens exactly how it's supposed to. Before you say, "Wow, this girl is really into that whoo-whoo stuff," hear me out because I guarantee that if you looked at all the "coincidences" in your life, they'd start looking less like accidents and more like guidance.
Most 18-year-olds have no idea what they want to do when they get to college, and I was in that statistic. I went into college thinking I would be a news anchor, and I chuckle thinking about that now because I stay as far away from the news as I can now. But I wanted to do it because I liked the idea of being seen by many. I always felt that I was meant to be seen and my voice was meant to be heard, but it was more of an intuitive feeling rather than a goal I was going after. My conscious desires were never based on this feeling but always somehow appeared.
After my first two years at an out-of-state university, I transferred to a college closer to home. But I never realized how isolating and lonely it would be to do that. College is when you meet new people and solidify your friend groups, but that could have been further from my reality. Thinking back on my college years brings me sadness and pain because it was the first time I truly experienced depression and loneliness. My schedule was the same day in and day out: wake up, go to class, get food, return to my room, and do it all over again. Not to mention, this was the time I was eating the unhealthiest, felt the worst about my body, and felt insecure just about stepping outside and having people see me. It was exhausting, and I would've loved nothing more than to stop feeling that way. I'm not the only one who felt this way, especially when you weren't "supposed" to feel that way.
I couldn’t have been happier to graduate college. I didn’t miss it at all. But I also knew that education was the only way I could do what I wanted to do - become a civil rights lawyer.
Graduate school was a total 180-degree shift from my time in undergrad. The work was still the same, but I began to find my voice again - my spark, my motivation. I knew with all my heart I wanted to help women worldwide who were in positions that displaced them from their power. I learned firsthand what it was like for women to live in fear of what would happen to them if they didn't act right. I knew what it was like for women to not have control over their own bodies and minds. I knew my purpose on this planet was to help women who felt like they couldn't (and shouldn't) stand in their own power.
I took the LSAT 3 times. I applied to over 20 law schools. I got rejected from every single one.
It was like one devastating hit after another when those decision emails arrived. At one point, I began expecting a no because that's all I saw. I started creating stories about why I wasn't smart enough to get accepted and why God wasn't letting me do what I needed to do to live out my purpose. So much self-doubt and victimization stirred within me for those few months. It took a while for reality to hit because it honestly felt like a big, cosmic joke that this would happen, even though I had worked so incredibly hard for this moment. But something just didn't make sense.
If this was truly my purpose in life, why was I being held back? Why did I keep hitting obstacle after obstacle when this is what I truly desired in life?
This is the part that blows my mind. A month after receiving my last rejection letter, I found out that my mother needed spinal cord surgery and would take about 2 years to fully recover. This is about the same amount of time I would've been in law school if I had gotten in.
Sure, my story sounds coincidental, but I know for a fact it's not. Shortly after I was taking care of my mom, I realized that politics just wasn't it for me. The more I thought about politics, the more disempowered and victimized I felt. There was no way I could spend any more time pursuing this field because I wasn't happy. I poured myself into writing and healing and even created an Instagram account (originally @hellomanifestation) about how to heal. My desire to share my voice and beliefs led me down a different path I had never considered.
What I experienced changed my life forever, and I couldn't keep it to myself. People deserve to know that they can change their lives at any moment and will be supported along the way because nothing happens by chance. Not your desires, not your choices, nothing.
But one truth still remains - my purpose. I realized in college that my purpose in this lifetime is to help women who felt displaced from their power feel and be empowered. My purpose is to help women live the intentional, expansive life they desire because they deserve it.
And then it hit me.
Maybe I wasn't accepted into these schools because I wasn't meant to be there. What if I wasn't being rejected but being redirected? I wasn't accepted into a single school I applied to, and it has nothing to do with my capabilities and worthiness. It's just destiny.
This is the moment that solidified my faith in the Universe. This is what made me realize that shifting the way I view my circumstances will literally change my life.
Although my desires shifted and my plans were interrupted, I found my path again. Life is about growth and change and coming back into alignment with who you were meant to be in this lifetime. And that's what I'm here to do - for me, you, and the planet.
