The Art of Being Alone: How to be Your Own Best Friend
The relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship you’ll ever have. Building a relationship with yourself is the most important investment you’ll make.
And the best way to foster that relationship between you and you is being alone.
For many people, the thought of being alone makes them cringe. But being alone is not the same as being lonely.
Being lonely is a symptom of negative patterns. I’ve been there before, and I know exactly how it feels. No one is checking up on you or asking how your day was. Your friend circle has dropped to just you and a couple of acquaintances. And you have zero motivation to do anything because your loneliness has led to depressive behaviors and thoughts.
Being lonely is one of the worst feelings in the world. But it’s also a choice. Just like being alone is a choice.
The importance of being alone:
Spending time alone is an art.
Art is often misunderstood by others until they see it from a new perspective. Art is an expression of oneself manifested into the physical. Art is admirable and inspiring. And being alone can do and feel exactly the same.
When you’re alone:
You find yourself
When you’re alone, you get to learn more about yourself. When we are constantly around people, we have a tendency to care too much about their opinions. Sometimes we even mold ourselves to be how we think they want us to be, which is the most ineffective thing you can do.
When you’re alone, you figure out who you are. Not what people want you to be or what you think you should be. You find out what you like and don’t like and what you want to experience. You find out what you love about yourself.
Being alone gives you the space to learn about yourself and fall in love with yourself.
You boost creativity and productivity
Being alone means fewer distractions. You can get a lot done when you’re by yourself. Time alone with yourself allows your creativity to expand. Have you ever done something that makes you lose track of time? That’s because you were in the flow. This flow takes over when there are no interruptions or opinions of others. It’s just you and your work.
Sidenote: work doesn’t have to be something you have to do or need to do. It can also be a hobby or something that brings you joy and puts you in the flow.
You strengthen your relationship with other people
Spending time with yourself allows you to understand yourself. And when you understand yourself, you can understand other people better. Being alone helps you appreciate the time you spend with other people. You don’t take these interactions for granted. Being independent is an important part of any relationship because you don’t want to be codependent on others for happiness. When you fall in love with being alone, you appreciate your relationships but understand that you don’t need them.
You let your mind, body, and soul rest
You are constantly “on” when you’re around other people. You have to be cognizant of what’s going on and what you’re saying. Your senses are being overloaded with stimulation. But when you’re alone, you can rest. You let your mind, body, and soul rest. You can sit in peace with yourself without constantly being on alert.
Why don’t people like being alone?
It’s not that people don’t like being alone; they don’t want to be alone with their thoughts.
When they are by themselves, they have to confront all of the feelings and thoughts they have pushed away. When they are by themselves, they have to come face-to-face with everything they have been avoiding.
It’s a disservice to yourself to suppress negative feelings and thoughts. Things up to the surface to heal. They make themselves known because they want to be seen and heard. And the only way to heal is to confront what comes up.
Being alone with your thoughts is very powerful. Your thoughts are the building blocks of your reality. So if you don’t like the thoughts that you’re thinking, being alone is the best way to figure out why you don’t want them and how to change them.
I know that being alone can be scary, but it leads to more growth than you think. You have to nurture your relationship with yourself because it’s the most important relationship you’ll ever have.
Here are 4 ways to be your own best friend and embrace being alone:
Social media breaks
Taking frequent breaks from social media can help you with comparing yourself to others. Most people only share their highlights online, so it’s a waste of time comparing yourself to what you see on the internet. You can start by turning your phone off for the first 1-2 hours after waking up. Start your day with you, not with people on Instagram. You can even set a limit on your social media usage throughout the day to make sure you’re spending as much time with yourself as possible.
Create a morning and night routine
Having a routine that you look forward to can be great motivation to spend time alone. When you have time just for yourself in the morning, and at night it grounds you. You’ll feel centered and rejuvenated. This is the perfect time to be alone to set yourself up for the day or the night. Use this as a guide if you want to create a mindful morning routine.
Move your body
Adding some movement to your day is the best time to be alone. Practice some morning yoga, stretching, go for a walk, or even the gym. Incorporating movement into your daily routine can improve your mood and creativity. And what better way to spend some quality time with yourself?
Practice gratitude
I know everyone talks about gratitude, but it’s for a good reason. Gratitude is the foundation for so many things, including manifesting desires. (Here is your ultimate guide to manifesting). When you are grateful for where you are now, you call in more things you want. Be grateful for the time you get with yourself. You’re your best friend, and you’re so fun to be around. If you are grateful for yourself, other people will feel the same way about you.
Spending time alone is a gift. It doesn’t have to be lonely, and it doesn’t have to be sad. It’s a time to be with you, the most awesome person in your life.
When you’re alone, you grow and evolve. You find the parts of yourself that were lost and the parts you didn’t even know were there.
Time is so precious, so spend as much time as you can alone. Be your own best friend. Everything else will come to you when it’s meant to. Until then, make every moment with yourself count.
Love,
Sangeetha
If you have any questions or suggestions for what you want to hear from me next, leave them in the comments below or send me an email at hello@sangeetharamachandran.com
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